


Judas kiss

by MMEGmo



Series: Blasphemy [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Gen, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7504510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MMEGmo/pseuds/MMEGmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you get triggered by suicide and self-harm DO NOT READ!<br/>This story was written in a few days by me and I appreciate the feedback.<br/>If you want my interpretation of this story, let me know in the comments and I will add it in the notes!<br/>Twitter: @MEMGHeathen</p>
    </blockquote>





	Judas kiss

**Author's Note:**

> If you get triggered by suicide and self-harm DO NOT READ!  
> This story was written in a few days by me and I appreciate the feedback.  
> If you want my interpretation of this story, let me know in the comments and I will add it in the notes!  
> Twitter: @MEMGHeathen

Tyler was happy about going to the forest. After the tour he wanted to be alone for just a day. He enjoyed the crew’s company, but it would be nice for him to be alone for a short while.  
He walked down the road towards the forest. When he was a kid he used to ride his bicycle down this road, he used to want to get to the forest as fast as possible, everything had to happen so fast in that time, he had no patience. Now that he was older he had learnt to appreciate the peace and the quiet of walking, or maybe he just wasn’t as excited about the forest anymore? When he was younger the forest was somewhere that he could play. He used to build treehouses, climb the tall trees, explore the new areas he hadn’t covered yet. Now the forest wasn’t the same. The forest had turned into his second option, where he could go when there wasn’t any other place that he could go to.  
He entered the forest through two big trees. The smell of the tree bark and grass hit him in the face, with the smell came memories. The sun shined through the leaves and the shadows made patterns on the grass. The light going between the leaves looked like golden laser beams, Tyler thought.  
When he finally reached the pond, he sat down beside it. One perfectly round beam of light came through between the leaves and sat over him, like a blanket. Dandelions surrounded the pond, making a shield of flowers.  
As Tyler lifted his hand in and out of the water he started thinking of the tour. He thought about when he logged on to Twitter at night and saw all the art the clique had made for him and Josh. The thought made him smile. The idea of someone loving someone enough to create them a piece of art was enough for Tyler to start blushing. He felt embarrassed for it, but there was no one here to see him.  
As he stood up to continue down the forest, he noticed a thin piece of rusty metal at the bottom of the pond. He continued walking through the forest. The deeper he got into the forest, the tighter the trees were together, making a roof of leaves that shielded him from the sun. The only light there was were the few beams of golden light coming through the leaves of the trees. It was beautiful. It didn’t look real.  
He had found a treehouse deeper into the forest. It wasn’t much of a treehouse, there was no roof, there was only one wall, and the only way to get in was through climbing the trees. It looked old. He climbed up to the treehouse, which was surprisingly easy. Moss had started growing on the planks, which made Tyler uneasy.  
Tyler had built many treehouses, and he remembered all of them, yet he couldn’t make out if this one was his or not. Not many kids used to play in the forest, especially not this far in.  
Against the wall was a familiar box, as wide as a guitar case and as tall as his ukulele. It was made of wood, and it had an unlocked padlock on it. Tyler walked towards the box, careful not to break a plank and fall through the floor.  
He took the padlock off and opened the box. The box made a creaking noise as he lifted the lid open. Inside were many ballpoint pens and and writing pads. Suddenly his mind has turned into a warzone. The air had turned thick and Tyler had a hard time breathing.  
There was a writing pad on top of all of the other ones, open at a specific page that Tyler remembered very well. “God has died.” It said. There was unreadable scribbles all around the words, but he didn’t need to read them to know what they meant. He picked up the writing pad, he could make out the words “save” in each corner of the page. Tyler sat down beside the box. He felt a weight on his chest, pressing down, trying to squeeze out the air out of his lungs. The creaking of the floor didn’t bother him anymore. He started reading through each page. The pages were all different, visually. Some were just scribbles, some were drawings, some were poems. Although the pages were different from each other, they had the same darkness and fear in them. For every page he read, the more of the thoughts escaped from the room in his mind that he had managed to lock up many years ago. When he had finished reading, the toxic thoughts were quickly becoming an infestation in his mind. The thought of reading another page made him sick. All of those years that he had removed from his mind were back again. The problems he had blocked off were coming back. The person he had blocked off was once again back.  
Everything was too overwhelming for Tyler. He felt like he needed to run away from that box and burn the whole forest down. “What would that help?” The voice in his mind told him. “Your mind is your problem, not the box, not the forest. You are the problem.”  
After a while of sitting by the box and letting his mind wander, Tyler felt obligated to continue reading through the pages of the writing pads. He felt the control over his body evaporate into nothing. It was like all of the pain he had felt over ten years washed over him in a minute. He picked up another pad from the box. He remembered this one, it was dedicated to a big part of him. He knew what was in the pad, he knew he shouldn’t open it. He knew that he had blocked off that part of him, and that it would be released when he read it. But he had almost no control anymore. He opened the first page up. “Abomination.” It said. He said the words out loud, “Abomination,”  
The words felt like poison in his mouth. He continued reading through the writing pad, some pages had only one word, while some were passages from the bible. “If a man lies with a man as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.”  
He hadn’t felt this defeated in his entire life, not even in his darkest hour. He had succeeded at keeping this part of him locked away for so long, and now it was back. Now he’d never get rid of it.  
His cheeks were wet with tears, he had trouble breathing. He felt psychotic. He felt the need to tear his skin apart. He wanted to feel something other than the pain in his mind. He went to get a pen from the box, and when he reached down he felt something odd. He felt something prickly. He lifted it out of the box. It was a rope. A thick, old rope, waiting to become Tyler’s new necklace, waiting to wrap around his neck and end his suffering. He felt himself calm down at the sight of the rope. He felt comforted by it. He knew that he shouldn’t feel that way, but he knew that the rope could help him. He did not care if this was temporary or not. He did not care if he went to hell for ending his own life, he was going there anyways. He could breath easily now and his tears were drying on his cheeks and his neck.  
He tied the familiar knot. There was a branch over the treehouse. Tyler dragged the box to the branch. He climbed onto the box and tied the rope around the branch. Tyler put his head through the noose. This wasn’t the first time he had a rope around his neck. The first time he was too scared, at the time he had hope that it could get better, so he didn’t do it. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake this time. When he was ready to jump off, a thought entered his mind.  
“Josh.”  
The tears came down his face once again. “You promised Josh,”  
He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want a reason to stay. “He was your purpose.”  
“Tyler!”  
“Tyler where are you?” It was Josh. Tyler felt his body go limp and he could feel the noose slightly tug at his throat. Tyler wondered how Josh had known he had gone this deep into the forest. “Tyler? You in there?” He asked.  
“Yes.”  
“Well, come down.” Josh said. “I can’t,” Tyler answered. Tyler didn’t want to tell him to leave. A part of him wanted Josh to talk him out of this. He could hear Josh climbing up. Soon enough he started to see his pink hair peeking up. “What are you doing up here anyway-” Josh’s eyes widened. “Tyler, you have to listen to me. I’m gonna come up there and I will take you down safely, okay?”  
“Josh, I’m sorry.” The air started to get heavy again. “Tyler, imagine what will happen to me if you leave,” Josh said. “How will I ever unsee my best friend dying? How will I survive without you?” Josh was choking up. Tyler saw his eyes begin to shimmer.  
Josh started walking towards Tyler. Tyler didn’t move. His conflicted thoughts were too distracting.  
Josh walked slowly towards him, taking every step carefully, like Tyler was sleeping and he didn’t want to wake him. When he finally reached Tyler, Tyler looked down on Josh. Tyler saw the fear in Josh’s eyes, he was wondering if he had ever seen him this scared ever before.  
Tyler gave Josh a bitter kiss. “Don’t forget about me.” He said before he stepped off the box. Josh was in shock. He didn’t know what was happening or how to help. Josh watched as Tyler struggled.


End file.
